this for now

the ball is back in my qourt ... that isnt how the letter was supposed to work.
its up to me to choose what to do. I cant do that. Less physcal-ness is good and i am happy with that idea to be said. It will take a tone down on the attachment. but it isnt that i am addicted to "making-out" it is him that i like.

my heart hasnt been full for 2 years. a good friend stole a piece of my heart and left on his mission. he came back, and i have the mission piece back. I dont know what to do with it.

I have a gapping hope in my cheast.

I cant take my key back. It has to be given back.

You win some you lose some.

I just feel better after talking.

I am so greatful for the trails the Lord gives me, though right now him and I are having a hard time getting along, well its more of me. He has given me answers say YES!!! but he is not giving me what he has promised me. Many things this semester seem to have fallen into place from what i have prayed and asked about and now its like WTF what now.

A scripture came into my head today. He has given me something that I need to know. it may not mean that it can be mine now but maybe later, he is just giving me a preview. I just have to come to grips with everything i have thought about and prayed about and figuared out. Job 1:21 "god gives, god takes, gods name be ever blessed"

I am the type of girl who knows what she wants and doesnt want. and well, when the Lord tells me i can have something, when he tells me this is supposed to happen and promises me many great things and then i find what he has been talking about and he then takes it away, i guess i am a bit bitter. but i am trying.

but the ball is back in my qourt. i dont see how it can be. its not up to me to say what can be said when i know what the Lord has told me and what Mike has said about himself.

the Lord works in mysterious ways. I love my Heavenly Father. I trust him. HE knows what is best for me and can see further down the road then i can, so i take what he gives.




PS i have one of the best roommates in the world!! i dont know what i would do without amy. I dont open up easily but i know the Lord gave her to me becuase i need her in my life.


<3 Erin Christina