Sunday School

What a day today was.
I am so blessed to be alive.
For starters, I have spent now 2 full days with Natalia and going to for the 3rd sleepover in a row with her. I love this Chick TO DEATH!!! I might just die when she leaves in less then a month. DIE I SAY!!
Now to my day.
Really it all comes down to sunday school today at church.
Today we talked about the priesthood and blessings. I had left the class because we all know how I have been sick lately and I just can't take it any more. My hormones are all outa wack. I snap at the smallest thing and am totally on edge with any/everyone.
So I walked back into class and Natalia is sharing a story about a priesthood blessing. She had told me the story before and so I knew what we were talking about in the class. I was totally consumed by the spirit. I could not control my emotions. My hand shot up at one point because I had to share my thoughts on priesthood blessings.
Yes everyone talks about the wonderful mericals they have had from blessings of healing .. I mean, my life is a true fact about one of those. When my mom was pregnate with me there were complications. My mom was loosing lots of blood and was sick. My father gave her a blessing and in that blessing she has the choice of keeping the baby and getting rid of the baby. Her pregnacy wasnt easy, but she chose to keep the unborn child. And I was born. Sry thats like the super cliff note version of it. But really the story is better coming from my mom. I think I will ask her to tell me of it again.
From other posts you know how hard it is for me to ask for a blessing. I dont know why but I just cant ask a guy to give me a blessing. My reason isnt good enough. It is not blessing worthy. I am scared to death that something might be wrong with me. I really just want them to tell me that I am crazy and to go see someone about mental issues becuase I am perfectly normal and being a baby and its all up in my head.
There are posts I am sure that dive into detail about what life was for me back at the start of the year. The warrent for the arrest. The fights with my dad. The fights with Ryan. The fight with Jonathan. Having no family basicly. Ryan disowned me as his sister. I was going through depression to the point of sitting in the bath tub one day considering how to kill myself. YES I WAS THINKING THAT!! I was lost and didnt know what to do anymore. I just could not take the trial i was going through, I was not strong enough and I was failing. I was bawling. I got out and dressed and tried to stop crying. I opened the door and my roommate Jess was there and I fell into her arms crying. She asked me if she wanted her to call Sam for a blessing (btw, this girl herslef was a blessing to me. I dont know what I would of done without her) I said yes. Sam came over and gave me a blessing. HE KNEW NOTHING of the warrent, of the fights and the disowning of family. BUT Sam said what needed to be said to me. He said what I needed to hear. What he said TRUELY was a blessing from Heavenly Father and him being the mouth peice. There were things said about my dad, "everything will be alright" those words stuck with me for the semester. I believed them. Everything didnt get better right off the bat BUT they did get better, slowly, but they got better.
Where would I be without the priesthood? I dont even want to think about it. I dont use it as much as I should, I know, and it is something that one day I will learn to use to my advantige when I do need a blessing.
After class, with tear filled eyes, I went to Grant and Seth and asked for a blessing of comfort. The lesson to day was a real eye opener and slap in the face telling me I needed one.
I am SCARED TO DEATH about my appointment on thursday. But I know what they find is something to help me. Yea, it could be a cyst, there could be something wrong with the way my body works, WHO KNOWS. But my blessing today brought peace. What happens, is to teach me. Heavenly Father doesnt like seeing me in pain, and what the docter finds out will help me to not hurt anymore. The things that happen to me will help me learn and grow. I need to go into this appointment with my head held high, and what the doc tells me is what it is. There is something to learn, maybe someone I am supposed to teach and help through this in their life. I teach through experince. The spirit teaches me and helps me understand, the pain, the sorrow, the joys, everything through me going through it. "The Lord will help you to find those who have the need and enable you to recongnize how you may assist them."
So yet again, Heavenly Father is preparing me for something new to learn. I mean, the spirit teaches me everyday. So come on life, throw me your best shot. I know everything will be alright. Through the blessing Grant gave me today and my P.B. I have the strength the face Thursday, and get better.
I love the priesthood. This is my testimony. The blessings are from God, and he knows what we need to hear even if the person who is giving the blessing doesnt.
I love this church I am apart of, it has blessed me in many ways, many, MANY ways.
I would be lost without this guidence I have for this day and age. I love my Heavenly Father and my family and my friends who strengthen and lift me up. And for those worthy priesthood holders who are able to give me a blessing in my time of need, to hold me together, to keep me going, to hold strong.
I love you all.

<3 Erin Christina