Is There...

I am beginning to wonder if there is a guy "set aside" for me. Could he, the one, be "the one" for someone else as well as for me? It's kinda crazy and stupid that I'm even thinking about it, but, really, is there someone (THE ONE) out there for everyone?

It has been almost a year that he broke my heart, that he chose someone else over me. I have yet to find a guy like him.. We were friends, just friends for a while, till one day someone sparked, it was slow but I did like him. I haven't ever felt the same or found that same type of relationship with a guy since then.

Sometimes i feel like i am just a peice of meat to guys. That I am used because I am too nice. Why can't the guys I feel comfortable around guys? Why can't the guys I am interested in be interseted in me? Wgt cab't i just have the same relationship that "he" and I had?

I hate feeling like a peice of meat and being used. I also hate being a bit on the mean sinde to guys when they want a step in a direction that I just don't feel ready for or comfortable going in.

No matter who hard i try, no matter how much i want something, I can't get myself to do anything

My heart still hurts. Sometimes it feels better, but there hasn't been anyone to hold it together even when they are gone.

Do I settle for something less than what I once had? Do I force myself to feel something I don't feel?

Why do I feel like I am ready and at the same time not.

It's been almost a year now, he is marrying somone else, he is marrying her and i am still sitting here with a broken heart? It doesnt feel broken anymore. I want to date, I want to get married, I want my happly ever after, why though am I flirting up a storm but when a guy asks me out I try to fun as fast and as far away as I can..

Is there someone for everyone? Is mine out there? Can people have the same one, and if you didn't win them, you lost?




<3 Erin Christina