The Worst Thing is

Thursday I thought I saw him.
Friday I did see him.  He is still here.  He never left.
I have not been able to be positive on myself since.
This has spiraled me deeper into depression.
It is horrible.
It just makes me think that I really am good for nothing.
I have no one to really talk to about these things.

The words in the last post cant even come close to the feelings and thought that I have been going though this weekend.  I want to yell at him!! Cuss at him!! Punch, kick, splap, anything and everything to him. 

Everything was a lie.

I do not think I can ever trust another human ever again.


To make matters oh so much better.  A guy that I have been interested in is interested in my roommate and she is way into him.  I hate even being around it.  Just makes me think even more about the fact that I am just not good enough for anything or anyone.

I have been sick this weekend.  Threw up when I thought my body didnt even know how to anymore.  I think I have been getting sick, explains why I have been so weak and tired all week. 

Well guess here is to going on with what feels like a pointless exsistance.

No school tomorrow and Tali and her boy are on there way up here for a visit.  I am pretty excited.  After all that I have thought how she hates me and never wants to ever have anything to do with me ever again here she is coming back into my life.  It feels right, the thing I need most right now is a friend and as it seems it is also the time I feel everyone has abondoned me. 

<3  Erin Christina