Atonement

What do I say.
It has been a while.
So much has happened.
I opened my mouth on Sunday.
I heard those words that have haunted me.
I saw myself leaving and going home, saying goodbye.
I am here.  For good.  This is my home, and I wouldnt have it any other way.
For the first time in what feels like forever I feel the spirit in my life at all times.  I love it.  I love being happy, Truely happy.  My apt is amazing full of amazing people and no contention this semester.  I am meeting lots of people, finding out I am related to people.  I am going to LOVE my calling this semester.  It makes meso happy to be, well happy. 
The next thing to get off my list is talk to Mike and say my final goodbye unless he choses to have anything to do with me.  But he doesnt work that way, or so he says.  So after I get him to go on a walk with me and I talk to him, he will write me out of his life.  And you know what, that is ok, because I will have pain, but I will also be able to tell him stuff that I should of said a long time ago. 
It has been a year now that I have wanted no one other then him.  Has taken control of so much, and I have given up so much JUST IN HOPES that I could be with him and that he would want me over all those other girls.
I use to feel like trash, but now I feel so much better.  I do not regreat my past but embrase it as a learning experince.  I know that I know things about me and I think through meeting and talking with the bishiop and going to the temple I will find more of me that has been missing out.

I am the choir director this semester and I have put together an arrangment that I am so excited about.  It will sound so amazing!

I met the daughter of my moms 2nd cousin.  Both of us are pretty excited to find out we are related.  Allyson Kelley is in my ward and I have also asked her to play the piano for choir.

All my fears about talking to my bishop were faced, and the words about sending me home were said.  But he wants me to stay here.  He wants to work with me. 
"Never doubt that you are amazing and wonderful, because you are, always have been and always will be"

I will be going to the temple at least once a week this semester (Yes I am worthy and the bishop told me that I NEED to be going, basicly a commandment for  me to be going, so I pretty much have to.)

My life is wonderful.  I have happy.  I have back pains and stress and lots of homework.  But through the triedness and stress, it does not make my day or life any less wonderful then it is now.

Pure and Holy.  Clean as snow.  I hope to keep my life in order.  I still need to make habbit of prayer and scripture.  I look forward to life, and  taking what it gives me, rather then hoping and working twords a goal that is not best fit for me at this time. 

If things happen they happen, in the Lords time and way.


<3  Erin Christina