The pain is back.
It hurts.
I have to make a doc apt and start over from scratch again.
Why is this happening?
What is wrong with my body?
I got a blessing this morning.
Heavenly Father is aware of the things and trials that are holding me back.
That is the line that stuck out.
He reminded me to use the atonement in my life to help me.
It has really got me thinking.
And has me REALLY thinking about things I am doing in my life.
And Then something that bishop said to us today in RS
Dont let guys use you.
I am aware of my choices.
I know who I am.
I might need to stop.
I do need to stop.
I know how.
But idk ...
I need to change somethings in my life.
I need to.
soon.
<3 Erin Christina
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
My favorite book
The Picture Book Everyone Should Own
Oh the Places You’ll Go by: Dr Seuss is one of my favorite books of all times. The book was just a book to me when I was growing up, but now that I am older it has become a light in my life. Dr. Seuss was an amazing writer and is one of my heroes and someday I would love to own all the books he wrote. In the story it may just seem like a little story about things that will happen when going around but it really is about life. The story takes you through life, the good and the bad, the happy and the sad, ups and downs and all arounds. You make choices in your life like if you want to or not want to go down a street; you choose your life and what you do.
Life isn’t easy and it tells you in the book. Things will be going so great for you and then out of nowhere things can go wrong. “And when you're in a Slump, you're not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done” You get reminded and told that everyone has those, you can either stay there and don’t choose what to do and wonder around lost and confused, or that you are better than that. The book tells you and reminds you how great you are and that you are not the type of person to do so, that you will choose the right and find the light.
Sometimes you will be alone and sometimes you will be surrounded by people, sometimes you will do great things and sometimes you will do something no one notices. There are moutons to be climbed and this book reminds you of that. A quote I always have with me a lesson Dr. Seuss taught me “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the [one] who'll decide where to go.”
<3 Erin Christina
Oh the Places You’ll Go by: Dr Seuss is one of my favorite books of all times. The book was just a book to me when I was growing up, but now that I am older it has become a light in my life. Dr. Seuss was an amazing writer and is one of my heroes and someday I would love to own all the books he wrote. In the story it may just seem like a little story about things that will happen when going around but it really is about life. The story takes you through life, the good and the bad, the happy and the sad, ups and downs and all arounds. You make choices in your life like if you want to or not want to go down a street; you choose your life and what you do.
Life isn’t easy and it tells you in the book. Things will be going so great for you and then out of nowhere things can go wrong. “And when you're in a Slump, you're not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done” You get reminded and told that everyone has those, you can either stay there and don’t choose what to do and wonder around lost and confused, or that you are better than that. The book tells you and reminds you how great you are and that you are not the type of person to do so, that you will choose the right and find the light.
Sometimes you will be alone and sometimes you will be surrounded by people, sometimes you will do great things and sometimes you will do something no one notices. There are moutons to be climbed and this book reminds you of that. A quote I always have with me a lesson Dr. Seuss taught me “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the [one] who'll decide where to go.”
<3 Erin Christina
Monday, January 18, 2010
Worthless
I have just been feeling down lately.
wondering if I am worth anything.
I just feel worthless.
I'm not good enough for anyone or anything except for being used.
I think I am getting sick.
It hurts to swollow.
And well I just don't feel well today.
I am jsut so use to being used that it doesn't bother me like it should.
I just sometimes wish that someone would see what is right in frount of them.
What I would do for them.
But I am a friend.
And nothing more.
Except for well, lets leave that for not some people to know.
I.Am.Stressed.
School.Is.Killing.
My ride back here from Utah bailed on me...I'm screwed over big time.
I think I'm gunna go cry myself to sleep .. thats if I can sleep, those little "outtings" energize me and if I am close to sleep I am wide awake.
<3 Erin Christina
wondering if I am worth anything.
I just feel worthless.
I'm not good enough for anyone or anything except for being used.
I think I am getting sick.
It hurts to swollow.
And well I just don't feel well today.
I am jsut so use to being used that it doesn't bother me like it should.
I just sometimes wish that someone would see what is right in frount of them.
What I would do for them.
But I am a friend.
And nothing more.
Except for well, lets leave that for not some people to know.
I.Am.Stressed.
School.Is.Killing.
My ride back here from Utah bailed on me...I'm screwed over big time.
I think I'm gunna go cry myself to sleep .. thats if I can sleep, those little "outtings" energize me and if I am close to sleep I am wide awake.
<3 Erin Christina
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Running around in circles
I havent been updating and doing what I have been wanting to do.
I am busy all the time have little time to sit around and just have me time unless I am sleeping.
I love life though, it is busy but I love it.
I am working hard on school but I feel like I am drowning already in a few places.
68 books I have to read. Lots of everything in other classes.
I keep trying to clime to the top of the mt but I keep falling back down.
So I am keeping my head above water and pulling through with the people by my side!
LOVE my roommies and our adopeted roommate .. my TAMI .. LOVE her!! She is over all the time .. we all feel like something is missing when she is not here.
So yea.
I do not think there is much else left to say for right now.
I need to upload pics.
and do more homework
and take a shower
and tell everyone I love them like 12 times.
I LOVE YOU ALL
<3 Erin Christina
I am busy all the time have little time to sit around and just have me time unless I am sleeping.
I love life though, it is busy but I love it.
I am working hard on school but I feel like I am drowning already in a few places.
68 books I have to read. Lots of everything in other classes.
I keep trying to clime to the top of the mt but I keep falling back down.
So I am keeping my head above water and pulling through with the people by my side!
LOVE my roommies and our adopeted roommate .. my TAMI .. LOVE her!! She is over all the time .. we all feel like something is missing when she is not here.
So yea.
I do not think there is much else left to say for right now.
I need to upload pics.
and do more homework
and take a shower
and tell everyone I love them like 12 times.
I LOVE YOU ALL
<3 Erin Christina
Saturday, January 9, 2010
1 Down 13 more to go
Week one is over.
I have a lot to do this weekend.
More cleaning and unpacking to do and so I can just be done with it all this weekend.
I have a bit of homework to do and wanting to get ahead of homework too.
So whoot, things to do.
I havent gotten to do my hymn a day like I want to just because of how busy I have been trying to get everything in life done.
So in other parts of life...I dont know. I still can't really talk about it.
Well I am going to start reading in the Pearl of Great Price because I am starting the Old Testiment now.
Time for bed. Doing D&C homework tomorrow so I will be posting a new blog on the other blog.
I am also going to really try to do my first hymn tomorrow.
Well goodnight moon.
I have life to figuare out.
Maybe soon things will start coming together and I can feel like me again, be more happy and out going rather then hiding behind a face.
<3 Erin Christina
I have a lot to do this weekend.
More cleaning and unpacking to do and so I can just be done with it all this weekend.
I have a bit of homework to do and wanting to get ahead of homework too.
So whoot, things to do.
I havent gotten to do my hymn a day like I want to just because of how busy I have been trying to get everything in life done.
So in other parts of life...I dont know. I still can't really talk about it.
Well I am going to start reading in the Pearl of Great Price because I am starting the Old Testiment now.
Time for bed. Doing D&C homework tomorrow so I will be posting a new blog on the other blog.
I am also going to really try to do my first hymn tomorrow.
Well goodnight moon.
I have life to figuare out.
Maybe soon things will start coming together and I can feel like me again, be more happy and out going rather then hiding behind a face.
<3 Erin Christina
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
On Your Mark, Get Set, *BANG* GO!
I don't know why but some things in my life aren't in place. Things feel right but wrong at the same time.
Today was the first day of classes. Tuesday Thursday I have only 2 classes, math and science. So its not that bad. BUT I will need that extra time for my 4 classes worth of howework that will be due on MWF. So I might go crazy with stress comming up. Also in 4 days I will be taking the last pill in my perscription and life will not be fun any more. Back to how things used to be, maybe worse for a little bit. My mom said she would find out how to get my perscription changed to somewhere up here that I could get it, and being my mom, she never did and even after telling her she forgets like 5 secs later. I love her to death though, but life is going to suck so bad once my perscription is out.
I am almost done with D&C.
I hate how something can be promised to me in my PB and I can read about it in the scriptures and so I ask someone about it and they tell me that they can't help me because it is things you learn in the temple. I MEAN COME ON .. it is in my PB and i REALLY want to understand this better, it is like they are telling me I can't learn.
But oh well.
I am so tired right now.
But life has been good.
I love my roommates.
Meet new people.
Seeing old faces.
Living my life.
Counting my blessings.
happy birthday Ryre.
<3 Erin Christina
Today was the first day of classes. Tuesday Thursday I have only 2 classes, math and science. So its not that bad. BUT I will need that extra time for my 4 classes worth of howework that will be due on MWF. So I might go crazy with stress comming up. Also in 4 days I will be taking the last pill in my perscription and life will not be fun any more. Back to how things used to be, maybe worse for a little bit. My mom said she would find out how to get my perscription changed to somewhere up here that I could get it, and being my mom, she never did and even after telling her she forgets like 5 secs later. I love her to death though, but life is going to suck so bad once my perscription is out.
I am almost done with D&C.
I hate how something can be promised to me in my PB and I can read about it in the scriptures and so I ask someone about it and they tell me that they can't help me because it is things you learn in the temple. I MEAN COME ON .. it is in my PB and i REALLY want to understand this better, it is like they are telling me I can't learn.
But oh well.
I am so tired right now.
But life has been good.
I love my roommates.
Meet new people.
Seeing old faces.
Living my life.
Counting my blessings.
happy birthday Ryre.
<3 Erin Christina
Sunday, January 3, 2010
So where to start...
It is a new year.
I'm on my own again.
A few things I have said I wouldnt do I have done. But I am growing and learning and trying to hold me in there.
I am slowly getting my heart back into feeling and not wanting so badly.
I saw Mike.
Hung out with Mike.
We talked.
I know some people who read this, so, I wont go into detail just because my brother who only takes my life into a joke and to rip me apart would use this post against me.
I feel so much better.
I'm holding myself together.
"The problem is that I still have that part screaming I WANT TO BE WITH YOU, Mike, I still like you..."
"And I still like you, or I wouldnt be here."
It could just be one of those things where he is messing with me but whatever. I am pressing forward. I am going to date, I am going to be whoever and whatever I want. Mike is in my life and that is one thing that I wanted above all else. We can be ourselfs together. My roommates thought we were something because of the way we were on the couch, BUT nope, just friends and love the fact that we are. All the drama and crap is behind us and it is back to normal.
I love my roommates and today was such a great day. We have been having so much fun. even though it is me and Amy (jrs.) and the other 3 are fish. We have another BUT she hasnt been here ... she is engaged and has been staying with the boy from what we were told.
I am going to start a new thing. A hymn of the day. Music is my life and a hymn that hits me and helps me though a day I will post and write about it.
<3 Erin Christina
I'm on my own again.
A few things I have said I wouldnt do I have done. But I am growing and learning and trying to hold me in there.
I am slowly getting my heart back into feeling and not wanting so badly.
I saw Mike.
Hung out with Mike.
We talked.
I know some people who read this, so, I wont go into detail just because my brother who only takes my life into a joke and to rip me apart would use this post against me.
I feel so much better.
I'm holding myself together.
"The problem is that I still have that part screaming I WANT TO BE WITH YOU, Mike, I still like you..."
"And I still like you, or I wouldnt be here."
It could just be one of those things where he is messing with me but whatever. I am pressing forward. I am going to date, I am going to be whoever and whatever I want. Mike is in my life and that is one thing that I wanted above all else. We can be ourselfs together. My roommates thought we were something because of the way we were on the couch, BUT nope, just friends and love the fact that we are. All the drama and crap is behind us and it is back to normal.
I love my roommates and today was such a great day. We have been having so much fun. even though it is me and Amy (jrs.) and the other 3 are fish. We have another BUT she hasnt been here ... she is engaged and has been staying with the boy from what we were told.
I am going to start a new thing. A hymn of the day. Music is my life and a hymn that hits me and helps me though a day I will post and write about it.
<3 Erin Christina
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