why ... why ... why

today has just been to much
mike and i texted all day
he made me feel like how i felt when we first started dating ... smiling, bushing, and all those other sappy things. i cant get over him. everything we talked about and said makes it harder and harder to try. i am crazy for this boy.

which leads me to hanging out with the two guys i met at gregs wedding. i kinda like both of them. but we know how i am. i am flirtatious and will lean more twords the one flirting with me. we discoved that yea both do like me. well tonight i was hangging out with them at their apt (they live together!) and we were having lots of fun. Stephen was being more flirty and showing the more interest so the pull was twords him. it didnt take long for me to get the feeling i knew what would happen before the end of the time .. and well .. we did kiss. just a cuple little pecks but none the less kissed. why did i kiss him. why why why. i wasnt supposed to. im trying to stop all that. i know i am not mentally ok to do that. i cant lead a guy on. and what happened to the only members thing! arhg! i never have a chance with a guy .. and he had to go and kiss me .... but i kissed him back ...

ok.

thats whats on my mind

i had to write it out to feel a bit better.

i do

bed time

work tomorrow

have to get up in 5 hours.

nini



<3 Erin Christina