I'm Sorry

I havent posted in a while, and this one wont be to much of anything.

I just havent been myself this week, have gone in and out of moods I guess.

I got a text from Ryan on Friday, ok not the best text ever but he did text me and we had like 3 or 4 each back and forth. Ryan is engaged to Ashligh now ... there are few who know and understand my feelings about that .. yes I got the text in one of my classes and just started crying. Ashligh has made it so hard for me to like her, and I guess that is what one of the things I have to work on, becuase she is becoming part of the family.

I wish that my relationship with Ryan was better, that is one of the things that everyday is hurting me. I miss my brother so much, none of you can understand this pain of having your older sibling just plain out abondon you, it hurts, it really really hurts.

So the guy who broke my heart last summer .. well he is engaged to the girl he chose over me, I am happy for him and for her, just a bit of pain, but someday I will meet the guy that Robert wasnt.

I have the money for housing, I am not to happy with the way things are here and Birch Plaza but because I hate moving I am staying here. So I will resign my contract and pay my rent, but tuition is still up in the air. I dont know how to pay for school.

The past 2 days I have eaten and havent felt so full in such a long time since I have been eating smaller portions in saving food. A friend ended up buying me bread, milk, and eggs against my will, but I am so forever greatful to him. My mom taught me such a valuable lession this week, that I should stop fighting people and let them help me, because when I dont let them help me, I take away their blessings.

So heres to Ry and Ash, and leaving me the last child in my family...who knows when my turn is, with everything that I have been doing this year I feel that whenever the time is right or whatever the Lord has planed for me I will be ready...and...I am waiting...

I am Erin Christina Elliott -- come on world -- give me your best shot -- I will take it head on!


<3 Erin Christina