Determination

I have to get something. I can't live like this. Its not a healthy life style. My Apt. payment needs to post so i can take a good look at what i have. though i did do some math i could make it till mid march!! So i mean i had my own little 3 month food storage going!! thats what we are supposed to have, right, ok i know its not 7 years, but i am kinda proud of myself. Becuase with food storage we cant be picky. I call my life style practice.
Its kinda hard though i make up need and want lists and things just keep ending up on my want list. i WANT this and i WANT that, but do i NEED it, do i?
I think what it comes down to, is i do have a bit of money that i can get food but i am afraid. i want that in my bank account. what if something happened that i needed that money. what if i thought i had everything paid for and i didnt and so i chose food over books? i am to scared to spend the money.

I'm just not in the mood to eat any of the food that i have. I am so sick of these food craving i have been having. Sometimes i wish i was home for sunday dinner. Beef, potatoes, gravey, green beans, mixed vegies, home made rolls, dads orange juliouse. But this is part of growing up, its part of the experince. I feel blessed. sounds funny right. But i feel blessed to be going through this. The Lord has enough trust in me to BLESS me with this trial. yes i said bless!!

What am I complaining about? I have food, and ramen is better then nothing, bc there are people who have nothing, i have something. no matter how much i dont want ramen or hate eating just plain eggs i am going to. I know the Lord is looking out for me. He has my back.

on the plus side for those who know my DDP addiction .. i bought 3 12 packs at the start of the semester and i am still working on the 2nd and tomorrow is the last day of Feb. I am pretty proud of my self!!

So i am gunna stop complaining about how misrable i am, just because it seems hard and i am getting sick of it doesnt mean that there is no way out. I am gunna suck it up and push myself, get over these little road bumps, and work it out. I am a daughter of God who wont let me fall, he is watching over me and i see his hand in everything i do! I am blessed to be in the spot i am right now.


<3 Erin Christina