This is me

The question is who am I?
Do I know that answer?
Yes, I know who I am,
I am a daughter of God.  My life has been blessed in so many ways.  I look around and see the friends that I have and know that without them I would be so lost right now.
I have my friends up here at school, and those friends back home and I miss so much.  And they have all blessed my life beyond belife.  I have several friends serving missions for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the majority of them get home this year!! It is pretty crazy to think that the two years have gone by so fast. 
It is crazy to think about who I was two years ago.  What I have done in the last two years and how much I have grown.  I have had many experinces that have shaped me to become who I am today.  There has been school, work, boys, spirital experinces, and many things. 
I may not be perfect, and I may not be the person who I wanted to be two years ago but the main point of it all is that I am who I am.  My life and my choiuces have made me this way and have taught me what I know now.  Some choices may have no been the smartest but there are some things that I cant seem to run away from.  Some choices I am trying to figuare out why they are happening. There are some desions I make and then I go back on them or totally change my mind. 
I am human.  I make mistakes, I have fears, I hurt, I cry, I rejoice, I have fun, I have depression, I have an eating disorder, I am shy, I love to cuddle, I am a flirt, I love holding hands, There is something wrong with my body, I am on birth control and embarissed about it, I have pain killers for the pain that comes around, I act tough, I dont like crying infrount of people, I can be very closed off and not open at all, I love it when people visit, I love it when people randomly text of pop up on facebook to talk, I love video games, I love my Heavenly Father, I am greatful for the attoning sacrifice that his son, Jesus Christ, my savior did for me, I love the church that I belong to, I believe that my church really is the only true church, I love the gosple and everything that I have been taugh since I was young, I have hopes, I have dreams, I have feelings, I have ambitions, I am want to be a teacher, a wife, a mother, I am a daughter of God, I am in love with life and everything that comes, I am just like everyone else, I am different from everyone else, I have never been in love, I want to know what it is like to be in love, I offered up my heart to two guys, one destroyed me, the other hasnt but has in so many different ways, I live in the moment, I try to plan out the future, There is so much about me that makes me who I am.  
There are times that I doubt my ambissions, that I doubt my dreams, that I doubt me all together, but I pull myself together to remember who I am and my great worth.
So there are so questions about things.  Boys, I have been used, I am putting my sheild back up again, I am sry, and I know it is not the best thing to do, but it is what I have to do.  Push through everyday and live my life and not be so open with people anymore.  If someday a guy comes along that doesnt use me and truely wants me then I will take my wall back down.  Mike is just an exsample of how stupid I have been.  Even after last summer I came back this winter with my mind set and back down from all that I worked for.  I told him that I wanted to be with him and I know that we never will, I wanted to fool myself.  I want him gone, Tami says rid him from my life, but there is still a little confusion about everything.  One day he will open his eyes and see what was infrount of him.  He talks about waisting time chasing girls spending like six weeks after one girl and it all being a waist.  Here I am, almost a year chasing one guy, doing things I hate because he likes them.  I am a safty.  He doesnt have to talk to me all the time to be ok.  Oh well.  That is what I have to say.  He is still one of my good friends. 
BUT I am going to live my life the way I want.  I am going to be the person I am.  I am going to stand up for what I know.  I am going to be me.  I am going to be more like Stargirl.  I am going to not change me to fit in for someone else.  If you dont like me then, oh well.  I am human.  I know who I am!  Do you?
Im gunna take my hydrocoden and do some reading.  Tomorrow is Friday.  Next week is the last full week of school. 


<3  Erin Christina

Another Stargirl Paper

Analyze a Required Book


Stargirl

Stargirl is realistic fiction and a great example of it if you ask me. So if it is such a great example of realistic fiction, what makes a great story? There are many different components that go into making a realistic fiction story, many different things that make the story sound, well, real. It is all about the reader being able to relate to the book and put themselves inside of the story, in the place of one of the main characters. The author also has to make sure that what they are writing about is something that the readers are dealing with, that the characters are grow like the readers are. It should, through the story, give children hope, remind them that there is hope in this world that we live in and also be able to give them insight to their problems in their life through the problems the characters go though in the book. This story fulfills all of these and is enjoyable, by children and adults of all ages.

When I first started reading this book I could not put it down. I was captured into the story, into a world that was just like my own growing up. I wish I could say that I was Stargirl, but sadly, I am not, and I could not lie to myself. I did, however, envy her, I wished I could have been her, I wished that I could have been myself growing up rather than changing for others. There are so many times I have changed myself to fit in. It is crazy the things I have done to make a guy notice me. I remember even back in high school I went through a time where I didn’t even know who I was because I was a different person at home, at school, at color guard, at church, and any place I went I was someone different just so I could fit in. Anyone can relate to this book. Just like Stargirl, even right now in my life, I am not happy not being me. People are always changing who they are; I even see it in some of my good close friends. They are changing for different groups of friends, for church leaders, for teachers, for boys, no one is being the real them, they are all being the person that someone else wants them to be. I just want to be me, like Stargirl was; she had the courage to be herself, and I want to have that too. Who hasn’t done that, name one person who has been themselves their whole life and not once wished to be someone else tor changed to fit in, oh wait, Stargirl did that too. Leo didn’t like her being “different” and wanted her to fit in, maybe that would make people except her again. Have you ever wanted someone to change so they weren’t “different”, so eyes were not drawn to you, or that you wouldn’t get made fun of as well because of the way the person acted? This all happened in this story. To me, this book could have been non-fiction; it could have been a story about my high school, but a little better.

In the book it is a school like all the other ones, everyone knows everyone, and everyone is accepted. They were happy and fine in their conformity to each other, sounds about right and normal to me. Then Stargirl starts school. She is different, she is her own person, doesn't care what anyone thinks about her, something that we should all strive to be. At first people think this is weird, but then, everyone starts being THEM and not hiding themselves to fit in. How would the world be if we were all like that? If we all became who we were instead of trying to be something we are not. Good things don’t always last forever, and that’s where the shunning comes in and everyone starts to think that being different is bad. Just like in high school if you were friends with that weird person you were rejected as well. It breaks my heart and it made me cry. The story gave me hope and then ripped it away, the world would never change, and no one could ever be like Stargirl and be popular. The hope came back at the end of the book. She was accepted again, but not by everyone, but who is accepted by everyone. Stargirl left, but she didn’t leave her classmates empty hearted. There was a lesson taught in the book. "It was a rebellion she led, a rebellion for rather than against. For ourselves."

A realistic fiction book teaches something, it is written for the reader to fit into the story, children hope, remind them that there is hope in this world that we live in and also be able to give them insight to their problems in their life through the problems the characters go though in the book. This story fulfills all of these and is enjoyable, by children and adults of all ages. Stargirl is realistic fiction and a great example of it if you ask me.



<3  Erin Christina

My Bio Poem for my Child Lit class

Bio Poem


By: Erin Christina Elliott







Erin Christina

Loving, Kind, Optimistic, Young-Hearted

Only sister to two brothers and youngest child of Bruce and Diane

Lover of Children, Music, and the Gospel

Who feels blessed to have the friends she has, grateful for the trails she has overcome, sad when others are sad

Who needs Dreams, Knowledge, and the Occasional Comfort of a Warm Embrace

Who gives her heart to others, words of encouragement and understanding, her time to those in need

Who fears the dark, being alone, spiders and snakes and things like them

Who would like to visit far off lands, be the best that she can be, and do great and amazing things

Resident of Rexburg, ID for school, Grapevine, TX for home, and Canadian by blood and heart

Elliott

 
 
<3  Erin Christina

Where the Wild Things Are Paper

Analyze a Book that is a Movie


Where the Wild Things Are

There was a lot of talk when the announcement of the movie Where the Wild Things Are was going to be made, some people did not know if it would be successful. How can you make a full length feature film out of a picture book? Some people I talked to told me that the movie changed the whole book and some say they loved the movie. So how did someone turn such a simple picture book into a movie? The movie did follow the book, but it dug deeper into the book, the story line and the mind of a child. The classic story is about childhood and the places we go to figure out the world we live in. The movie tells the story of Max, a rambunctious and sensitive boy who feels misunderstood at home and escapes to where the Wild Things are. This is something that all children feel and go though. I know that as I grew up I would always retreat and/or get sent to my room and long to escape where I am. Max lands on an island and he meets the wild things, mysterious and strange creatures whose emotions are as wild and unpredictable as their actions. The Wild Things desperately long for a leader to guide them, just as Max longs for a kingdom to rule. Max is crowned king and he promises to create a place where everyone will be happy. Soon Max finds that ruling his kingdom is not so easy and his relationships there prove to be more complicated and difficult than he had originally thought. The book and the movie are closely tied together. The movie does not take away from the book, it adds to the book. The movie does start off with background that is not in the book, since the book starts off talking about “the night that Max wore his wolf suit to bed” you don’t really get to meet and get to know who Max is except for that he is a wild child. The starting of the movie lets you get to know and understand that there is a lot to Max and that he really is a troubled child. So the movie kind of adds things to the book, but it doesn’t really add to it, but expand on the book and takes us to a different level to help us understand. There is not a line of the book that the movie misses and that is one of the most important things to me. They keep the core story line of the book; nothing is changed, just brought more to life.

To dig into the mind of the child Max the movie brought his imagination to life. Within the book there is more than meets the eye to how Max is. The troubled child, causes trouble, and is as his mother class him a “wild thing”. In the book Max is sent to his room, in the movie Max runs away, but in both we get into his mind and he takes us to where the wild things are. The story just gives little detail about Maxes trip, but in the movie we are taken into detail about the world that the wild things live. Max is pretty much the same in both the movie and the book, but in the movie, the wild things become more part of the story and have their own back story as well. In the book we know they are part of his imagination, but they represent other things in his life as well. So really when comparing the characters from the story to the movie they are just about the same but with more personality. You have Max, his mother (who you do never really meet in the book), the wild things, and Max’s sister (who is not in the book). There are a few other characters but they aren’t that relevant to the story line. The characters they had for the book were fine the way the story was written, but you could not have a movie without a story behind the character and names for them as well. Two of the wild things were Carol, the wild thing that Max was strongly connected too, KW, another one of the main wild things that Max had trouble with, it was kind of forced to choose between the two of them to be friends. Max was trying to make the “family” full again, he was made king because they all thought that he could fix everything. The rest of the wild things are: Alexander, Judith, Ira, The Bull, and Douglass. In Max’s mind these wild help him figure out a lot about him and about the people around him. At the very end of the book and the movie the line “Don’t go, we’ll eat you up, we love you so” is said and helps finish off the picture in our minds about who the wild things are.

The theme of the book and the movie follow each other, at least one of the main themes does. The story talks about a child who gets into trouble, like a lot of children do, I know I for one got in trouble a lot and was sent to my room or would even try to run away. Just because you get in trouble doesn’t mean that your parents or whoever punished you hates you. Max thought that the best thing to do when he did something wrong would be to run away from everything. He went to where the wild things are and he became king and thought that everything would be right and wonderful. Max soon realizes that he cannot run away from his troubles and that he is lonely even when surrounded by these wild things and that he is king. He misses home and his family, so he leaves them. When he gets back to reality he comes to find that he is still loved. In the story it ends with him getting the dinner he was sent to his room without and in the movie it ends with him returning back home to his mother who had missed him and was worried about him. So no matter what, a child should never think that they are unloved or hated because they get in trouble. There are a few different themes to the book, but I think that is one of the most important to remember.

I think the hardest thing that I had to deal with when I was watching the movie was the island where the wild things are. In the book it seems to be just his small little island and it is all forest. In the movie you have the forest, desert, beach, and even mountains. There is a reason for them to do that though. It expands on the expansion of Max’s mind and imagination. It is interesting to try to think about the emotion Max is going through at the time that of the movie. Max is scared and worried when he first gets to where the wild things are and he is a dark forest. There are times when he is confused and just doesn’t know what to do and is kind of lost and he ends up in a desert setting. So the setting in the book and the movie are not totally the same, but it fits the plot line and what they are doing in the movie to have the setting what it is.

The book and movie have their differences to make them what they are, I mean it is not that easy to turn a picture book into a full length film, but they did it and in my opinion, successfully. I know friends who have said they hated the movie and that it was demonic and they could not understand how that was supposed to be a children’s movie. However I loved the movie, and thought that it went along with the book well. The story line was the same, Max got in trouble the night he wore his wolf suit to bed, and he escaped and went to where the wild things are. They did not miss any of the lines and you can tell when the lines were going to happen. So if you ask me we should “let the wild rumpus start” and enjoy the movie and watch it with an open mind. If you don’t understand that yes a child can act this way, but the ending is one of the most important parts and without what happens through the movie of the story you can’t have the ending mean what it means. Max runs away and returns to find that he is still loved. I love both the movie and the book, but I grew up with the book. The book will always be Where the Wild Things Are always and forever for me. But I would recommend for everyone to watch the movie too, it adds to the story a point of view that most people don’t really look at. You can read the story as a story, but you will never fully think about what the book is truly saying and meaning until after you have watched the movie.

 
 
 
<3  Erin Christina

Best Childrens Book of the Semester

Best Children’s book of the Semester


Stargirl

Stargirl is your typical story of boy meets girl, girl is a little crazy, boy still likes girl, girl likes boy, and then ... well I guess it is not the typical story, but it is more real than those others. This was one of my top favorite books that I have read this semester, I think because I could relate a lot to the book. It made me think of me back in the day, like yesterday. There are so many times I have changed myself to fit in. It is crazy the things I have done to make a guy notice me. I remember even back in high school I went through a time where I didn’t even know who I was because I was a different person at home, at school, at color guard, at church, and any place I went I was someone different just so I could fit in. Anyone can relate to this book. Just like Stargirl, even right now in my life, I am not happy not being me. People are always changing who they are; I even see it in some of my good close friends. They are changing for different groups of friends, for church leaders, for teachers, for boys, no one is being the real them, they are all being the person that someone else wants them to be. I just want to be me, like Stargirl was; she had the courage to be herself, and I want to have that too.

Just like a realistic fiction book, this book was real; it could have even been a nonfiction book I think. A lot of times books try to bring real life into them, even television attempts to do that with reality TV, but people just can’t seem to get it right, what they come up with still isn’t how life really is. The story put me back in high school, walking my halls and sitting in my cafitieria. Our school was basically the same, except larger and we didn’t have a star girl. I really cannot think of a person who cannot take this book and relate to it, and put themselves in it.

In the book it is a school like all the other ones, everyone knows everyone, and everyone is accepted. They were happy and fine in their conformity to each other, sounds about right and normal to me. Then Stargirl starts school. She is different, she is her own person, doesn't care what anyone thinks about her, something that we should all strive to be. At first people think this is weird, but then, everyone starts being THEM and not hiding themselves to fit in. How would the world be if we were all like that? If we all became who we were instead of trying to be something we are not. Well Stargirl took herself too far when she started cheering for all the teams and not just her team. The shunning was back on. Don’t we all seem to do that? When someone is who they are and not being someone else to fit in people often shun them or make fun of them. I know that I cannot totally be myself, there are many things that I absolutely love that most people don’t know and probably never will know about me, because if I told them I would risk getting made fun of and people rejecting me for who I really am. Leo, our boy in this story, finally realized after getting over his confused feelings that he was in love with Stargirl and the whole school knew, she loved him and he loved her. As things like this normally go, when someone like the weird person, the shunning moved to Leo as well. He told her she should change, she needed to be like everyone else, being different was a bad thing. That is often what we do in real life, being different is bad and fitting in is good. She then became like everyone else, but that didn’t stop the shunning, so in desperation to not be rejected anymore, Leo started shunning Stargirl.

No one seemed to get the message that Stargirl was teaching them. She was her own person, did her own thing, wore her own clothes, and loved everyone. Even the last time anyone saw her, she had been accepted again by all, (except Leo who didn't go to the dance) and Hillari slapped her and said "Your ruin everything" Stargirl kissed her on the cheek and left. Leo, even after many years, still did not get the whole picture. Why out of everyone did she love him? What was it about her? What made her so different? But he never forgot her, never. Stargirl was not only teaching her school a lesson, but she was teaching the readers a lesson too. So what was this lesson she was teaching, that Leo never understood. I asked myself the same question after I read the book. I sat back and asked myself a few questions and reflected on things. Why am I trying so hard to be someone I am not? I thought of one of my favorite quotes from an amazing movie "Why are you trying so hard to fit in, when you were born to stand out." This sounds like Stargirl, except for the fact that she does stand out, and she is proud of whom she is. Why can’t I be like her? Who am I? Who have I been? Do I like me? Have I been changing for him? Is it the fact that I would do anything for him? Or could it be the years of me forming to others that I am just not me anymore? I need to strive to be more like Stargirl, I think everyone should.

This book says real life, and it really is one of the best books I read this semester and one of my new top favorite books that I would recommend for anyone and everyone to read. I would also want everyone to reflect on the book, and really realize how much they can put themselves in the book and that this book is life, and that is a Stargirl in all of us, we should all let her out and be ourselves.

 
 
<3  Erin Christina

Dear Heavenly Father

I don't know what you want me to do anymore.  I am at a loss. I keep trying to do new things and put myself in new places, but nothing seems to be working.  I am trying to be the best I can be, changing everything around and doing things differently, but still, it is not right.

I just don't know what you want me to do anymore.  Can I have a little direction? A little guidence?  A hint, not a big one...just a small one...Please?

I just don't know what I should do.

<3  Erin Christina

Blah

School will be the death of me
more so math
and the thought that I wont be graduating when I want to.
I am going to the Disney meeting today.  I might spend me "summer" working at Disney World! 2 words..paid internship.  Though that means I wont be going home.

Life is full of choices.  I just hope I am making the right ones. 

<3  Erin Christina

A Thought

I should be heading to my class right now ... actully I should be heading home to print my homework but I don't want to really, so I will just turn it in later. 

But a thought.

Why is it when things seem to be getting good in life, I find some way to get myself stressed out about the matter.  Sometimes I just don't know what to do.  I have always been this way, but I never think about it until a situation.  

Why am I even thinking about it.  Because I may have an interest but nothing ever happens back, I don't want to get ahead of myself but I think he might be interest in me, as of what happened on sunday.  I keep letting myself fall into an insecure state of mind but then quickly snap back into it and have a little spaz attack.  Why can't I just be happy and enjoy life?! Why?! Because the word eternity scares me.  That is why when things were going on with Mike (Satan) that I was comfortable, because him and I are a like in that way.  Him and I are both a type of comitaphob.  So why is it only Satan that I don't freak out around.  Why?! Because my heart still wants him.  And it is screwing everything up.  He basicly told me about a week ago that we would never be together.  I was fine with that!! It didn't hurt me at all!! WHY CAN'T HE JUST HURT ME ALREADY!! BRAKE MY HEART!  I'm trying to move on and see where things can go with this other guy but I my mind keeps running in circles and making up situations and there comes in my comitaphobness and I am just never going to get anywhere with anyone because I am such a spaz with my emotions. 

Anyway that was just a quick thought becuase class starts in 15 min and I wont be able to read before class. 

<3  Erin Christina

Sometimes

I don't even understand how I am so open about somethings .. oh wait .. this is my blog and I write whatever I want in it.  Yes I haven't updated lately, school has been kicking my butt, I am so sry.  But I do have a few things to tell.  I have an interset in a guy, AND IT IS NOT SATAN! I took off his knot, finally, step one I guess is what that would be.  I am trying to make like 1 1/2 worth of food go 5 weeks and all my bday money will have to go to making it through next semester a live.  I have just enough money in my checking to pay fast offerings for the next two fast sundays, there are people out there who need it more then me.  I can be hungry and still live, at least I have something that I can eat, no matter how little it is.
Lets see .. I can't think of anything else at the moment.  Gunna read for the next hour and hope and pray that I can sleep tonight. 

<3  Erin Christina