I love my Rangers.
I hate being sick.
I just cant get unsick. First I was really sick, throwing up and fever sick..and still going into work ^_^
Now I am I started that oh so wonderful time of month and I am that sick (wich is funny because I havent gotten sick the last few months...so this time it really is taking a lot out of me.)
There isnt much more to say on that note.
OH!!! JONATHAN AND COURTNEY ARE GOING TO HAVE A BABY!!! The first little Elliott. I cannot wait. Baby is due in June and I will meet baby in July at my graduation.
I have had good hour weeks the last few weeks and this week and next I am done at 30. I hate all these new hires taking my hours. Do they not understand that I really only want Sunday off...stop giving me random days in the week off.
Oh well.
I am still working on school stress and working on losing weight. Both not getting any better.
I have my doc appt in a few weeks. Looking forward to that. More so because along with being sick this month I am also in a lot of pain with it too. Any ways, work at 8am so that means it is bed time now.
<3 Erin Christina
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Go Boys Go! (47)
The rangers won last night!!!! It was such a good game. I am happy that I got to spend that time with my sister-in-laws. We went out to dinner and got some icecream and watched the game. AND WE WON. It was a very good night.
I work from 10:30-6 today and 2-6 tomorrow. Friday and saturday are early mornings again. I hate that they are messing with my sleep schedual like this. I am going to be tired and cranky on Friday and Saturday because I am not used to going to bed and waking up anymore.
Well I have to start getting ready for work. Friday is pay day.
We are getting close till Tally gets home and for that I am WAY excited. Cant wait till she comes home!!
It feels werid that it is wednesday I fell like it is Thursday.
<3 Erin Christina
I work from 10:30-6 today and 2-6 tomorrow. Friday and saturday are early mornings again. I hate that they are messing with my sleep schedual like this. I am going to be tired and cranky on Friday and Saturday because I am not used to going to bed and waking up anymore.
Well I have to start getting ready for work. Friday is pay day.
We are getting close till Tally gets home and for that I am WAY excited. Cant wait till she comes home!!
It feels werid that it is wednesday I fell like it is Thursday.
<3 Erin Christina
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Having No Luck (47)
I have a goal to be happy no matter what happens. So through all the crappy customers at work, all the not getting enough hours, all the working days I really dont want to work, my way too kind of a heart, the still not making enough money, feeling sick all the time, the pain, the crazy work hours they are giving me, missing Idaho, missing the few friends I have down here that I never get to see anymore, never getting to go to family dinner on Sundays because of work...I am smiling through it.
You know lately, I have been having those nightmares about HIM. I guess still missing and hating myself still at the same time. I try to forget and MOVE ON. But with all these nightmares I went to his facebook yesterday. Yes he has privicy settings up but I can still look at the pictures he posts. He has a new album, him and a girl and she is wear that claughda ring, the one that I remember him trying on me and fitting perfectly. I am happy for him. He found someone that he can really love and that he really wants to be with. Someone that has hopefully made him change and be a better guy. Something that I failed at. I had wanted him more then anything so I gave him everything he wanted and in return I got nothing I wanted. I wasnt the girl he needed. He wasnt the guy I needed. I just really hope she isnt letting him do anything bad, that they are both staying worthy. He broke my heart, but I still want him to end up happy in the end, I still want him to be the priesthood holder he needs to me. I really hope he has changed, not just for himself but for her salvation as well.
I think this can really help me move on. I never really stoped loving him. Deep down I hoped to run into when I got back and that he would want me again.
I KNOW that I made the right choice. I did what was right for the both of us. I lost a best friend and ended up broken, but I did what was right. I will ALWAYS stand by that choice. I do not regret it at all.
I wake up every morning with all those things listed at the start of this post and really dont want to get up. But I do!! I roll out of bed and start my day. I smile knowing that my Heavenly Father is watching over me. He is proud of all the choices that I am making that are helping me get closer to returning to live with him again. I want to make him proud of me. I go through each day, it may not be easy, but I do my best. I can feel him guiding me through each day. I can feel him wipping away my tears. I can hear him telling me it will all be alright. My life is in his hands. I know that as long as I am doing what I am supposed to be doing everything will be all right.
Well. Gotta get a move on with this life. Cheering on the Rangers tonight.
<3 Erin Christina
You know lately, I have been having those nightmares about HIM. I guess still missing and hating myself still at the same time. I try to forget and MOVE ON. But with all these nightmares I went to his facebook yesterday. Yes he has privicy settings up but I can still look at the pictures he posts. He has a new album, him and a girl and she is wear that claughda ring, the one that I remember him trying on me and fitting perfectly. I am happy for him. He found someone that he can really love and that he really wants to be with. Someone that has hopefully made him change and be a better guy. Something that I failed at. I had wanted him more then anything so I gave him everything he wanted and in return I got nothing I wanted. I wasnt the girl he needed. He wasnt the guy I needed. I just really hope she isnt letting him do anything bad, that they are both staying worthy. He broke my heart, but I still want him to end up happy in the end, I still want him to be the priesthood holder he needs to me. I really hope he has changed, not just for himself but for her salvation as well.
I think this can really help me move on. I never really stoped loving him. Deep down I hoped to run into when I got back and that he would want me again.
I KNOW that I made the right choice. I did what was right for the both of us. I lost a best friend and ended up broken, but I did what was right. I will ALWAYS stand by that choice. I do not regret it at all.
I wake up every morning with all those things listed at the start of this post and really dont want to get up. But I do!! I roll out of bed and start my day. I smile knowing that my Heavenly Father is watching over me. He is proud of all the choices that I am making that are helping me get closer to returning to live with him again. I want to make him proud of me. I go through each day, it may not be easy, but I do my best. I can feel him guiding me through each day. I can feel him wipping away my tears. I can hear him telling me it will all be alright. My life is in his hands. I know that as long as I am doing what I am supposed to be doing everything will be all right.
Well. Gotta get a move on with this life. Cheering on the Rangers tonight.
<3 Erin Christina
Monday, October 4, 2010
my goal for the month
Lose the ten lbs that I have gained over this last year. I will not let the birth control win by making me gain weight.
I am going to try to update my blog more. My life has just been so boring. Nothing cool really at all going on. Just sleeping working and my online class.
Nov 22 is the count down till date. My bestest friend is comming home and we will be spending up until I leave for school together. Party in Texas and Party in Utah. I love Natalia Angelica May.
<3 Erin Christina
I am going to try to update my blog more. My life has just been so boring. Nothing cool really at all going on. Just sleeping working and my online class.
Nov 22 is the count down till date. My bestest friend is comming home and we will be spending up until I leave for school together. Party in Texas and Party in Utah. I love Natalia Angelica May.
<3 Erin Christina
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Take my hand
Long story short I need a day off. It has taken me 2 weeks of 35 hour work weeks starting at 8am to realize that I am not super woman. It has taken sitting in sacriment today and fighting off several panic attacks that came on like ever 5min. Why I was having them I really didnt know. Am I over working myself? NO!! I cannot I need the money. I have a 40 hour work week starting TODAY. I cannot be over working myself. But I can tell you that one week from today I have 3 days off in a row and if you dont see me it is ok because I am thinking of just locking myself in my room. No more giving up my only day to sleep in to take someone somewhere. No more helping someone going through something hard or difficult. I dont know if you know that I am human too. I dont have magic powers that make everything go away. I cannot fix anything that is broken. I dont know if you know that my life is a total mess. I cannot tell up from down right now. I live at Kohls. My coworkers even ask if I ever go home. But I say this and know that something will come up next tuesday and I will be up way early and helping someone out. It is who I am. I have to work early in the morning and you need me I will be there for you no matter how late it is.
Sometimes I wish I had a friend to hold me as I cried. I wish I wasnt alone down here. I wish I was in Idaho where I could go to the temple everyday if I wanted. Where I can just walk up to my bishop and talk to him. Where there are a lot of guys that are always there for me and see me struggling and see through my lies. Guys who walk up to me knowing I cant do this anymore and ask me if I need a blessing knowing that I hate asking for them. A place that no matter how busy I am with school I still have time for my calling. A calling that I put everything into and that I love so much.
I am falling to pieces BUT doing it with a smile on my face. When you ask I tell you I am tired or I smile a big smile and tell you I am WONDERFUL and try to change the topic to YOU and get it away from ME.
I NEED the money. I NEED the hours. I NEED to live at work and work the next few months away. There is nothing else I NEED. I dont NEED to go out and have fun. I dont NEED to go to church activities. I dont NEED to do anything but work. Work is the only thing I get paid for and I NEED to SAVE and EARN money not go out and spend it.
I got a calling at church. I told them that I know I am not supposed to say no to a calling so yes though I couldnt do the one you wanted to give me because of work and you are giving me this one now when I DO NOT HAVE TIME to be on a comitee. I DONT HAVE TIME to go to any meetings. I DONT HAVE TIME to go to any activities. I DONT HAVE TIME. I AM ALWAYS working. You just dont understand it. I was on the activities comitee last year and went to NO meetings and NO activities because I was ALWAYS WORKING. How can I get you all to understand that I just dont have time. Do I have to go inactive for you to understand that I have a deal with work that if I have to work on Sundays to not have me work durring church. That is all I ask for. I would just rather not have a calling. I dont want to be part of the ward down here. I am here to work. That is my life here at home. Not being social and not church. I am not good on comitees. I never speek up at things and I wont go to any of the meetings because I will always be at work.
I left talking with brother Petty and went to the bathroom and cried. He has no idea how much he just make me hate being here even more.
I just want to work. I just want to make enough money to go back to school. I just want to work. Leave me alone world. You dont know me and I dont want to know you. I dont want to make friends anymore. I just wanna make money and go back to BYU-Idaho.
<3 Erin Christina
Sometimes I wish I had a friend to hold me as I cried. I wish I wasnt alone down here. I wish I was in Idaho where I could go to the temple everyday if I wanted. Where I can just walk up to my bishop and talk to him. Where there are a lot of guys that are always there for me and see me struggling and see through my lies. Guys who walk up to me knowing I cant do this anymore and ask me if I need a blessing knowing that I hate asking for them. A place that no matter how busy I am with school I still have time for my calling. A calling that I put everything into and that I love so much.
I am falling to pieces BUT doing it with a smile on my face. When you ask I tell you I am tired or I smile a big smile and tell you I am WONDERFUL and try to change the topic to YOU and get it away from ME.
I NEED the money. I NEED the hours. I NEED to live at work and work the next few months away. There is nothing else I NEED. I dont NEED to go out and have fun. I dont NEED to go to church activities. I dont NEED to do anything but work. Work is the only thing I get paid for and I NEED to SAVE and EARN money not go out and spend it.
I got a calling at church. I told them that I know I am not supposed to say no to a calling so yes though I couldnt do the one you wanted to give me because of work and you are giving me this one now when I DO NOT HAVE TIME to be on a comitee. I DONT HAVE TIME to go to any meetings. I DONT HAVE TIME to go to any activities. I DONT HAVE TIME. I AM ALWAYS working. You just dont understand it. I was on the activities comitee last year and went to NO meetings and NO activities because I was ALWAYS WORKING. How can I get you all to understand that I just dont have time. Do I have to go inactive for you to understand that I have a deal with work that if I have to work on Sundays to not have me work durring church. That is all I ask for. I would just rather not have a calling. I dont want to be part of the ward down here. I am here to work. That is my life here at home. Not being social and not church. I am not good on comitees. I never speek up at things and I wont go to any of the meetings because I will always be at work.
I left talking with brother Petty and went to the bathroom and cried. He has no idea how much he just make me hate being here even more.
I just want to work. I just want to make enough money to go back to school. I just want to work. Leave me alone world. You dont know me and I dont want to know you. I dont want to make friends anymore. I just wanna make money and go back to BYU-Idaho.
<3 Erin Christina
Monday, September 13, 2010
I forgot to mention
How I am grateful for Spencer Taylor Priest. I love that guy. He is one of my amazing best friends and I would be lost without him. I love hearing his voice and I love talking to him. I cannot wait to see him in December.
I will be leaving home in December to visit my wonderful beautiful Natalia and will also be seeing and hopefully ridding up to school with Spencer.
Life is good and full and great and amazing friends. I love my life and all those who are in it.
Sorry I HAD to make sure to mention Spencer in my post. I love you Spencer!! So happy you are home again!
<3 Erin Christina
What is going on
So much has been happening in the life of Erin Christina. So much that I have to be grateful for. My life is blessed with so much good that it is hard to look upon the bad and think negitively about my life.
I have the gospel in my life. I know what happens when we die and the eternal blessings that will continue to come to us. Life does just end, there is an eternity of happiness that comes when our earthly lives are over. I cant wait, well I can wait, but you know what I mean. I am so grateful to have such truths in my life. It fills my heart with joy and happiness.
I am blessed with my family. We had a pretty fun weekend when we all went out to the time share. I loved spending time with them. We have had our problems in the past and still do but we most deffinitly get along so much better. I go to FHE at Ryan and Ashleigh's place for a reason, they are my family, not the singles ward. Plus, I feel better being there even if it is a bunch of married people.
I am grateful for my job. The hours might be EARLY but I am getting 30 and plus hours a week. Last week was 35, this week 34 and next week 40.25 hours. Keep on giving me these hours Kohls. They really are giving me the hours I need and it will help me pay for school and housing.
I am so grateful for all the blessings that my Heavenly Father has blessed me with. All the trials and oppertunities that I have faced in my life and I am looking forward to more. I love my life.
Like my best friend has said before: One day down an eternity to go.
Bring on the Rain!!
<3 Erin Christina
I have the gospel in my life. I know what happens when we die and the eternal blessings that will continue to come to us. Life does just end, there is an eternity of happiness that comes when our earthly lives are over. I cant wait, well I can wait, but you know what I mean. I am so grateful to have such truths in my life. It fills my heart with joy and happiness.
I am blessed with my family. We had a pretty fun weekend when we all went out to the time share. I loved spending time with them. We have had our problems in the past and still do but we most deffinitly get along so much better. I go to FHE at Ryan and Ashleigh's place for a reason, they are my family, not the singles ward. Plus, I feel better being there even if it is a bunch of married people.
I am grateful for my job. The hours might be EARLY but I am getting 30 and plus hours a week. Last week was 35, this week 34 and next week 40.25 hours. Keep on giving me these hours Kohls. They really are giving me the hours I need and it will help me pay for school and housing.
I am so grateful for all the blessings that my Heavenly Father has blessed me with. All the trials and oppertunities that I have faced in my life and I am looking forward to more. I love my life.
Like my best friend has said before: One day down an eternity to go.
Bring on the Rain!!
<3 Erin Christina
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