My Talk

I am going to go off the spirit on this one. I have printed out this talk but I might not say these words. This is what I wrote for my talk in Singles Ward tomorrow.

Preparing to go to the Temple

Choose the Right!! I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ amen.

To enter the temple is a tremendous blessing. But first we must be worthy. We should not be rushed. We cannot cut corners of preparation and risk the breaking of covenants we were not prepared to make. That would be worse than not making them at all.
I have learned a lot about temples this year from a super spiritual even I had back in march in going to the temple, finally, well, prepared. While looking over a talk I found by Russell M. Nelson, I laughed to myself only wishing I had read this before I learned the hard way.
I rewrote one of my favorite primary songs one day after going to the temple.
I love to see the templewish I could go everydayI feel the Holy SpiritI listen and I prayFor the temple is the house of Goda place of love and beautyI've prepared myself these past monthsthis is my sacred dutyI love to see the templeI go as much as I canI covenant with my fatherand I promise to obeyFor the temple is a holy placeI cant wait to be sealed foreverAs a child of GodI have learned THE truthA family IS forever

I spent well a long time preparing myself for the temple. it sucks it took me such a long time to enter those door worthy and ready but i made it. And my life really was changed, and blessed beyond belife
So to go into the temple we much be well physicaly ready. Yes .. I am starting with physicaly ready, and I just have two main points to share.


PHYSCAL
One prepares physically for the temple by dressing properly. It is not a place for casual attire. “We should dress in such a way that we might comfortably attend a sacrament meeting or a gathering that is proper and dignified.”
Within the temple, all are dressed in spotless white to remind us that God is to have a pure people. Nationality, language, or position in the Church are of secondary significance. In that democracy of dress, all sit side by side and are considered equal in the eyes of our Maker.
After I had changed into my white jumper I looked in the mirror, I saw myself dressed in white and felt so wonderful then saw my face and how much the world was shown on it from the makeup I was wearing. I don’t ever need to wear makeup like that. The scripture 3Nephi 13: 28 “And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin.” Lilies are as they are; they don’t need anything added onto them to be beautiful. I am beautiful the way that God made me, I don’t need the ways of the world to make me who I am, I am who I am and I am beautiful to him.

Now to enter the temple you have to be worthy and clean and pure. Clean of sin and hold a temple recommend. Now there was a time that I had the questions answered and memorized so I could get in and out of the bishops office before he tries to talk to me…come on, I’m sure I’m not the only one who has done that.
SO to go into the temple we have to be spiritually ready. Without being that, we won’t receive the great revelation that is to be given to us. I cannot begin to explain the blessings that I have received from going to the temple worthily and ready.
It is just not in me to sit here and tell you what you need to do to be spiritually ready and worthy. I am not up here to tell you that you need to go talk to the bishop; I am not up here to say that I am amazing because of the blessings I have received. I am up here to share with you... well whatever the spirit prompts me to share.
Prayer.
Scripture study.
Questions.
The wanting to be there.When we got up there we were told it would be a 3 hour wait and that didn’t sound too good to us because we had homework and things that we needed to get done today. We considered not going and coming back later in the week. We talked about it and decided to talk to the other temple worker in the right part of the temple, since we went through the wrong door. We were there told an hour and a half wait and again considered it and I said yes we should so we did. That was the best decision that I think I had ever made. To me I was thinking I have worked and waited so long to enter into the temple worthily and I KNEW that I needed to be there more than anything.
Testimony of temple.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

How Do I Look

Why am I so fat?
I haven't weighed this much since high school..
Time to stop eatting again?
maybe?
Sounds good to me!
I will never get a guy looking like this ..
Not that I need one ..
But if I'm not happy with me, then I wont have any luck with anything.


<3 Erin Christina

Thinking of You

"If you live to be 100, I want to live to be 100 minse one day, so I would never have to live a day without you."

The quote is haning up in the house I babysit...and I can't help but think when I read it. Why is life so complicated sometime .. but not at the same time .. just so .. meh .. why bother.

<3 Erin Christina

To The One Who Holds The Key

What would I give to just see you one more time.
To have you hold me again like you used too.
To stare into those eyes I love so much,
Those eyes that I can still see when I close my eyes.

What would I give to just have one more day with you.
To hear your voice,
Your laugh,
To see your smile.

What would I give to know why I can't take this charm off.
To know why I can't get you out of my head.
Why don't I know what is going on in my own life,
What price would I pay to know.

You dug deeper in my than I even knew at the time.
You are in my thoughts, my prayers, my heart.
I just wish I knew where I was to you.

We don't talk about us.
We are just friends.
But there is something else.
Something that just hasnt been said.
It eats at me.
There is something in your mind that hasnt been shared with me.
I know there has to be.

I have your knot.
You have my key.
Is there meaning?
Do you still have feelings?
Do you struggle like I do with this?

No you probly don't.
You live everyday and don't even think twice about me.
Or do you?

Do you know whats going on?
You have half the story that I don't.
I can't move on.
If you still wear the key then there has to be something in your mind,
Something that You haven't said,
Something that could bring light and understanding to me!

You never hurt me.
Why?
Is there something there?
Something you want?
I just need to know..
What is on your mind?
What am I to you?

...



<3 Erin Christina

Faith and Fear

This month I have been BLESSED with the wonderful oppertunity to have lots of challenges.
Offten times when thing happen in life we tend to be afraid and get scared and worried that things will not work out. I do tend to get scared when things happen. I constantly worry about money, I know I shouldnt because the Lord will provide for me as long as I do what I am supposed to be doing, but I cant help but worry.
So my trials have brought fear to my heart. The cost of fixing my car, the cost of school, not getting hours at work, not making enough money, looking at my bank account. It scares me. I dont know if I will make it. I dont know if I will have enough.
If there is anything I have learned lately is that as long as I fear, I can have no faith. Faith and fear are total opposits. When you fear something happening you have lost the faith and hope that good will come out of it. I have taken my challenges in my life and have constintly reminded me every time that I start to fear that the Lord will take care of me. I have faith and hope that all will work out how it is supposed to. The Lord sees the big picture and he will help me so what is supposed to happen will happen.
I will not fear the unknown, yet take a step into the dark and have faith that the Lord will guide me to the end.

<3 Erin Christina

the 3 weeks

So here I sit typing this blog post, feeling not to well. It hurts to breath and I try my best not to cough. My body aches and I dont know what to do anymore.
Is this punishment? What is wrong with me. I get sick for about 2 weeks every month. This is more then just, well, girl stuff. So now into TMI mode so if you dont want to read you have been warned.
My body goes into lock down mode when it is that time of month for me. Sometimes even twice a month it happens, and it really sucks! I have no warning sign except the week before I am sooooo hungry -- extept for the fact that I am always always hungry. Day 1 I am basicly paralized from the pain. I cant sleep that night either because of the pain. My back just hurt sooo bad. Also the cramps effect my stomach as well. I have the worst stomach aches and get slightly sick and feel horrid. Not to mention no matter what my whole body aches and is in more pain then I can even explain. When the pain goes down half way through the week, I start to feel more sick. My stomach and my whole body just hurt so bad. I begin to become weak and always tired. The thought of food makes me want to throw up and I am soooo hungry at the same time. my stomach has the feeling of somone punching me 24/7 over and over and over. It hurts to breath, my nose gets stuffy, and I devlop a cough. This lasts for another week and a half and then for the last half of the other half I begin to feel better. But its one to two weeks left before the cycle starts over.
Sometimes it is worse then other sometimes not as bad as others. But every month it basicly gets wrose. I cant go through this any more. It really is killing me. I "joke" around a lot how I hate being a girl, but really I am in so much pain I wish I didnt have to go through this. I talk to ladys who are older who these things start to effect them, but they can easily take care of that. I am 20 years old and bleeding to death and sooo much pain every month is killing me. I hate this. I hate getting sick all the time. I pretend like nothing is bothering me, but as soon as I am alone I cry.
I try to think of what lesson I am to learn from this. I look back at my patriachtical blessing. But really, there is only hope and joy found there. It doesnt tell me to watch out for this, or I might encounter this, or have patince in this. There is no speak of trails in my blessing. It is a blessing full of hope. It tells me of the great things that I will do and the great things that will come in my life and the great I will do with the gifts the Lord has blessed me with.
In a few days I will be coughing up a lung and not knowing why and just wishing for all this pain to go away. I know there is a lesson to be taken from this, I just havent found it yet. I hope to someday soon. Until then I can just keep pressing on. Keep endouring to the end. This is the blessing that someday will make me a mother. So I will keep fighting this, and if worse comes to worse I will have tons and tons of kids so once I am married I wont have to have a period ever again, I will just always be pregnat and therefor I wont have to go though my 3 weeks of pain and hate for life!
So yes, this was all a little bit a lot of TMI, but this is me, you read my jurnal willingly, you take what I write and you cant complain and tell me that was not something that I should post. You read it. The only thing I do is write what I feel, do, hope, dream. My worries and fears. My pains of day. My thoughts. My heart and mind go down in writing. This is my life. Take me as I am.

<3 Erin Christina

An Angel

So I have many blogs that need to be writen but I am so backed up I dont know if I will get to them.

This week was a pretty sweet week!

I spent Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday with Natalia Angelica May.

It was a flipping blast!

I cannot remember the last time that I have felt so .. ALIVE .. so .. connected with someone .. so much intune with the spirit as well.

It is kinda hard to explaine, more so knowing that Natalia is probly reading this but I know this is a blog that I should write.

I have been sent to this earth for many reasons and one of those that I know of is to councel and liston to the problems of others, older, younger, whatever the age, I am here to help them through anything they need help with. It is a gift I know I have that people can talk to me and tell me things and come with anything and everything and I can help them. I have had many of the experinces as the people are having which makes it easy for me to help them through what they are going through and avoid the dark path that I was once on.

I have never, in all my time on this earth, found someone who has touched me and who I connect with so well as Natalia. There is so much we have in common and yet so much that I have to learn from her. She is such a strong spirit. Last night we just got into this really deep spirital conversation about eachother and blessings and gifts in our lives, which I have never really gotten to do with anyone else. It was so amazing. The way that her and I can just talk about it all, anything and everything, just kinda passes my understanding, which leads me to think of a better greater plan.

I am so blessed to have the friends I have in my life. They have helped me and strengthed me in ways they will never know. In this time in my life, Nataila stand kinda in the same spot. Our veiws and things going on in life seem to match together that we can understand each other so well (this is how I see it, she could be thinking something totally different). She has become one of my best friends and I am blessed beyoung belife. There is finally someone who can really understand me, and without me having to explaine things, she knows.

We have known each other for about a year or so now, but it wasnt until me getting home in July did we really click. It is funny how these things work. It is funny how when the rest of the world starts to fall apart and you find yourself all alone, that one friend can change it all.

It is better to have one best friend then many just friends.

I cannot wait till I have driving privliges back and I can drive out to Natalia's house again!!

Natalia hasnt only become one of my best friends, I know that I knew her before we came to this earth. I know I was probly super sad the day I left and she had to hang out up there for another year. We probly embraced and knew that we would see eachother again. A promise we made to each other. No matter what, I will be there for you. Everything may seem like its falling apart, but dont forget that I will be there and together, we will make it.

Natalia,

You are a choice spirit of your Heavenly Father, who loves you more then anything in the whole world! He watches over you. He has BLESSED you with your family and your friends. No matter what happens those people will always be there .. I will always be there.

Well she wants to get out

And she wants to get out

But the city calls out now

And the scars that she hides

With those stars in her eyes

Like the echos that are all the same

Cause it's all been done before

Yes it's all been done before

[ Chorus ]And oh, you can let this one go

You can try on your own

But I want you to be here

And oh, now the signs are all quiet

And the streets are all tired

And I want you to be here

Well she's sick of this town

And the walls in this house

And her pride just won't let her see

That when she wears that she's made

With the heart that won't break

She could be dead but she'd still believe

That it's all been done before

Yes it's all been done before

[ Chorus ]

They can tell you that they want you

To stay for what you've done

They can tell you that it's alright

To be what you've become

And you go

Cause you knowIt's for show

[ Chorus ]

And oh, now I tried to be quiet

But this heart is on fire

And I want you to be here

I want you to be here (5x)

Sry, this song by parachute came on while I was typing and I thought of you Natalia.

The friends in my life are my angels and they help me servive, they help me out of the dark into the light. Natalia, thank you for being my angel.

<3 Erin Christina